


Hot News

by baroque_mongoose



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Gen, Non-Graphic Violence, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baroque_mongoose/pseuds/baroque_mongoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new spark has arisen in Spain, and he mounts a challenge against Gilgamesh Wulfenbach.  He sends a dragon... and a major international newspaper sends a very unusual war correspondent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot News

Gil looked up from the report he had just been handed, and sighed. “It's starting, Ardsley,” he said.

I had no need to ask what. Juan Covas Arroyo was now easily the most powerful spark in Spain, and for quite a while now his activities had been threatening the peace of the western regions of Europa. It was inevitable that at some point he would run up against the might of the Wulfenbach Empire, and, once that happened, there would be war. Arroyo had never been known for his conciliatory tactics.

“What are we dealing with?” I asked.

“Chiefly, a dragon,” Gil replied. “Wait. You said 'we'. Does that mean you're going to be allowed to stay around this time?”

I grinned. “I'm not sure 'allowed' is exactly the word you're looking for here. My continued presence on the Continent is the product of a recent lengthy exchange of telegrams between Whitehall and myself, in which I made it extremely clear that if they recalled me for the duration of the war again, I would take early retirement. I have, however, sent the children back to Blackrigg Hall, as a precaution. I wanted Lucilla to go with them, but she wouldn't hear of it; and she may, after all, be helpful. She can think, and she can fight.”

Gil beamed. “Oh, that's excellent news! Your strategic brain will be a great help. Are they talking about sending me any military assistance, by the way?”

“I think you can take that as a given once war is actually declared,” I replied.

“Heh. Well, I didn't wait for war to be declared before I called in Agatha and Tarvek,” said Gil. “They're both on their way now, along with extra air power, ground troops, clanks, Jägers, and whatever other forces they can muster.”

“Good,” I said. “Now, I've heard rumours of this dragon; can you tell me more about it?”

Gil frowned. “Yes. It's rather a big one. It does all the traditional dragon stuff, such as flying and incinerating things.”

“But doesn't Agatha have that dragon in Mechanicsburg?” I asked. “Franz, was he?”

“Ah, yes,” said Gil. “Him. Unfortunately, Agatha's had to leave him to protect the city, just in case Arroyo's dragon gets that far. There's really nobody else she can leave to do that.”

“No, I suppose not,” I conceded. “A pity she doesn't have more than one.”

“One's enough,” said Gil grimly. “I've had a run-in with that creature.”

“What are the rest of Arroyo's forces like?” I asked. I already had some idea, but, not being a military man, I did not know the full details.

“Without the dragon, he'd be very weak in the air,” replied Gil. “He's got a few blimps, but nothing special. As far as I can tell, he mostly uses them for reconnaissance. The dragon may be powerful, but it doesn't seem to be overly intelligent.”

“Right,” I said. “That confirms what I thought. And what about on the ground?”

“Pretty strong. He's got a lot of big walking battle clanks. Having said that, if we can just win the air battle, that's not going to be a major problem.”

I nodded. “So the first thing he'll probably try to do is attack Castle Wulfenbach. How well can you defend against a dragon attack?”

“Well, put it this way, it's not going to knock us out of the air,” replied Gil, “but things could get nasty on board. I've stepped up the fire drills lately. I want everyone fully prepared, even the non-combatants.”

“Yes, about those,” I said. “Arroyo doesn't appear to have any track record of respecting ordinary people in his path. Is there any way we can provide places of safety for the people on the ground?”

“H'mm,” said Gil. “I suppose we could probably evacuate the most vulnerable members of the population up here, where it would at least be safer than on the ground, but... damn, I've no idea how many children have been born since the last census, and...”

A minion approached and bowed. “His Royal Majesty, King Tarvek Sturmvoraus.”

“Oh, good,” said Gil. “Show him in, will you?”

Tarvek entered. “Hallo, Gil,” he said. “Hallo, Ardsley. Good to see you both.”

“You too,” said Gil. “We were just talking about how to protect the non-combatants. Ardsley is worried, and, since he's had to walk through the middle of a war himself, I can see where he's coming from.”

“Are you staying this time?” asked Tarvek.

I nodded. “I am. I had to put my foot down about it, mind.”

“Good. Well, I can, as it happens, address your concerns. Naturally I didn't leave Sturmhalten unprotected.” He grinned broadly. “Wait till you see my latest device. I think you'll both like it very much. Especially you, Ardsley, man of peace that you are.”

Gil raised an eyebrow. “You, of all people, have invented something that is purely defensive?”

“Oh, Gil,” said Tarvek. “Always, you malign me. Isn't it a good job I'm such a nice person?”

I smiled. “Tarvek, please don't tease Gil.”

He gave me that look of wide-eyed innocence which always meant he was being anything but. “But it's such fun!” he protested.

“Not for Gil, it isn't. You two have to work together,” I said. “Now, what is this thing you've invented?”

“It's a force shield. Absolutely no use for protecting attacking forces, because you can't fire anything through it, but perfect for protecting civilians. I can get one around every major town or city in Wulfenbach territory. There are a few problems, though.” Tarvek paused. “No, don't look at me like that, Gil; it works perfectly. The trouble is that it works too perfectly. Nothing but light, air or water can get in or out. That means it has to come down every now and then to allow for deliveries and so on. Consequently, if Arroyo decides to start a siege, it will be pretty much useless.”

“He can't besiege everywhere,” replied Gil. “How much help do you need getting them set up?”

“Just a delivery service, really. They're easy enough to set up locally. They don't need me.”

“Tarvek,” I asked, “how do your shields work? That is to say, I'm not asking you for the technical details. I just want to know if there's a single central device which creates a hemispherical shield at a particular radial distance, or several devices which would be placed round the periphery of a city to create smaller fields that join up.”

“It's the former,” he replied. “Why?”

“Oh,” I said. “A pity. If you had several smaller devices, you could allow for occasional small breaks in the field to let people in and out when needed, but with a hemispherical shield, the whole thing has to be either on or off.”

“It was an intelligent question,” replied Tarvek, “and I certainly did think of doing it the other way; but I had to make Sturmhalten invulnerable from the air as well as from the ground, and so the hemispherical design was really the only one that would work.”

The minion reappeared. “Lady Agatha Heterodyne, and friends.”

Agatha was ushered in, along with Zeetha, Violetta, Axel Higgs, Dimo, Maxim and Oggie. After the usual greetings, Agatha asked, “So, has anyone actually declared war yet?”

“Not quite,” replied Gil. “However, now we're all here, I suggest we go down to the war room and start setting up a simulation.” He called the minion over. “Refreshments in the war room, please. And make sure there are plenty. We have Jägers.”

“And me,” said Zeetha. “I'm ravenous.”

Tarvek arched an eyebrow. “Are you not watching your figure, Ms Zeetha?”

“I find that if I hit enough people, it keeps me in trim,” replied Zeetha, meaningfully. “Your Majesty.”

“Serve you right, Tarvek,” said Agatha, with a grin.

Gil led us all off to the war room, deep in the very heart of Castle Wulfenbach. “All right,” he said. “I've set up my own forces and Arroyo's, as far as I can. Let's put yours in the picture and see what we get.”

We were still busy doing this, and discussing how best to deploy the forces we had, when the refreshments arrived. Gil's kitchen staff had done us proud. There was a huge plate of sandwiches, a bowl of salad, vol-au-vents, two kinds of cake, and meringues. A moment later, there was another knock on the door.

“Herr Baron,” said the minion, “there's an Agnete Lund asking permission to come up.”

“Agnete Lund?” asked Gil. “What, you mean the reporter from _The Europan_?”

“Yes, Herr Baron. She's covering the war.”

Gil raised an eyebrow. “She's a little previous. Technically we're not at war yet, though it's clearly only a matter of time.”

“I hardly think we need a reporter up here,” said Tarvek.

“Agreed,” replied Gil. “But if she wants an interview, she can have one. She'll just have to wait till we come out, and we may be in here a long time.”

“So, er, are you letting her on board now or not, Herr Baron?” asked the minion.

“No,” replied Gil. “She'd just be bored. Get her contact details, and I'll be in touch with her as soon as I can; but I'm sure she'll appreciate the fact that I have rather more urgent matters to deal with just at the moment.”

It did not, however, take too long to agree on the deployment; we therefore moved into an adjacent lounge with the rest of the refreshments, and Gil went off to arrange for Ms Lund to be allowed on board. “She might also want to talk to some of you,” he warned, as he left, “so be prepared.”

“What exactly are we supposed to say?” asked Violetta. “I mean, war isn't declared yet...”

“Oh, it's going to be,” replied Gil, cheerfully. “I'm about to declare it. The dragon's still heading straight for Castle Wulfenbach.”

“H'mm,” said Mr Higgs. “Looks like things are going to start getting interestin', then.”

“You could say that,” replied Gil, striding off.

I took another vol-au-vent. “I wonder how Ms Lund got to be a war correspondent? Her political articles are certainly intelligent, but she's a details person, whereas wars tend to be large, complicated and messy, and one would have thought the general public would want a wide overview.”

“Well, not necessarily,” replied Agatha. “I should think her approach would work well for, say, individual battles.”

“Hy iz goink to go und tell Gkika vot ve iz doink,” said Dimo. “Be right beck.”

“All right, Dimo,” said Agatha. “Ardsley, what's in that vol-au-vent? Mushrooms?”

“Yes. In a very nice sauce. I think there's paprika.”

“I think I'll try one, then,” said Agatha.

“Should we perhaps move the dragon, if it's getting closer?” asked Violetta, looking at the table.

“Not till Gil comes back,” Agatha decided. “It would be really useful to have some idea how fast it can go. There's too much we don't know about that dragon at the moment.”

“If ve could get it to land,” said Maxim, “ve could giff it some trouble.”

“If it's determined to attack Castle Wulfenbach, that's not very likely,” replied Violetta. “I hope Gil has some good defences here.”

“He's already assured me that we're not going to be blown out of the air,” I said. “We'll probably have to deal with fires, though.”

“That's not much better, my lord,” said Higgs. “A fire on an airship is serious business.”

“It's not as bad as you think,” I assured him. “Gil has had Castle Wulfenbach heavily refitted since you worked for him. There are failsafe mechanisms of various kinds. Also, the Castle no longer uses boilers to generate its steam, so we're not going to get any exploding boilers if we take a hit in the wrong place. It's all solar heaters these days.”

“Sensible,” said Higgs, approvingly.

Tarvek bowed to Agatha. “I'm in charge of protecting the civilians,” he announced. “Perhaps you'd like to hear about my force field?”

“Well, that's a bit more imaginative than offering to show her your etchings,” Zeetha observed, with a wicked grin.

“If I may make a suggestion,” I said, “it might be a good idea to get the force fields in place first and talk to Agatha about them later. There are people down there who didn't ask for a war; and, while the war is clearly necessary, that doesn't mean that they should have to suffer the results if it can be avoided.”

“That's Ardsley's 'I mean business' face, Tarvek,” said Agatha. “Come on. I'll give you a hand, if you need it.”

Maxim and Oggie followed them, leaving me with Zeetha, Violetta and Higgs. “This reporter,” said Violetta. “Why would she want to talk to us?”

“Can see why she might want to talk to his lordship,” said Higgs. “After all, strictly speaking it's not his war, but here he is helping.”

“Well, Britain will send some troops, Mr Higgs,” I replied. “It's part of the agreement.”

“But you're not a military man, my lord. You're an ambassador.”

“Indeed. And a diplomat; and if we can turn this war into a negotiation, I may have my uses.”

“I'm not saying you don't anyway, my lord,” said Higgs, hastily. “Don't mistake me. I'm just sayin', the reporter's going to find you interesting.”

I sighed. “The last time I talked to a reporter, it was someone from the _Times_ , and he kept harping on about my age. I wouldn't give it. I answered all his other questions, but I really don't see why it's relevant to his readers to know how old I am.”

“Well, you know they always put that in papers,” Zeetha pointed out. “Every time they mention someone's name, it's 'Helga Schneider, 38', or whatever.”

“I know they do, but I don't see any good reason for it,” I replied. “Unless, of course, it's a court report and it may be a matter of public safety to be able to identify the offender.”

“But there's nothing actually _wrong_ with being quoted as 'Lord Heversham, 54',” said Violetta.

“There certainly is,” I replied. “I'm fifty-three.”

“Oh, sorry. You're not fifty-four till April, are you?”

“If she wants to know how old I am,” said Zeetha, “I'll refuse to tell her until she tells me how old she is. Fair's fair.”

“She'd better not ask how old I am,” said Higgs. “If I told her, I'd have to kill her.”

Agatha returned at this point, with Maxim and Oggie in tow. “Tarvek doesn't really need me,” she announced.

Zeetha laughed. “I bet he tried to convince you he did.”

“Of course. And... well, he is fun, but we've got a dragon to deal with. Isn't Dimo back yet?”

“Hy expect he got to tok to de new recruits, Mistress,” said Maxim.

I blinked. “You've got some new Jägers, Agatha?”

“Well, not new as such,” she replied, “but new to me. They were a wild pack living in Siberia, but eventually the news finally got through to them that there was a Heterodyne. So they made their way to Mechanicsburg and offered me their service.” She beamed. “Wasn't that sweet?”

“And I made them all take a bath,” said Zeetha.

“I guess it was understandable,” said Violetta. “I mean, if you live in Siberia, you probably don't want to take a lot of baths in the winter. You might get frozen into them.”

“Yes, but when they arrived in Mechanicsburg it was high summer, and the summer wasn't the only thing that was high,” said Zeetha. “Phew.”

Gil came into the room with a tall, fair-haired young woman with large glasses and rather prominent teeth. “This is Agnete Lund of _The Europan_. She'd like an informal chat, if you're all OK with that.”

Ms Lund gave us a charming smile. “It is so nice to meet you all!” She both looked and sounded as though she meant it. I warmed to her immediately; this was clearly someone with real enthusiasm, both about her work and about people.

“You too, Ms Lund,” said Agatha. “I'm Agatha Heterodyne. Let me introduce Zeetha, Violetta, Axel Higgs, Lord Heversham, Maxim and Oggie.”

“Haff a sandvich,” said Oggie, politely offering the tray.

“Thank you,” said Ms Lund. “Perhaps I will later, but do you think we could talk about the war a little first? Maybe we could start with you, Lord Heversham.”

Higgs and I exchanged a knowing look. “Certainly,” I said.

I answered a number of intelligent and thoughtful questions about the British role in the war, and my role specifically. After she had thanked me for my contribution, I replied, “Well, thank you too, Ms Lund. For one thing, you didn't ask me for my age, which I appreciate.”

“Oh, I didn't have to, my lord,” she replied brightly. “I looked you up in Debrett's.” Zeetha took out a handkerchief and pretended to sneeze violently.

Agatha proved to be somewhat harder to interview, though not through any desire on her part to be obstructive. It is just that Agatha is invariably curious. “You're from Denmark, aren't you?” she asked.

“Yes, I am,” replied Ms Lund. “Now, I understand you've brought your famous Jäger regiment...”

“Lovely place,” said Agatha, a little wistfully. “I went on holiday there, must have been... oh, what, about twenty-five years ago now. Do you remember, boys?”

Maxim nodded. “Ja. Ve liked Denmark.”

“Iz some very nize girls in Denmark,” said Oggie.

Ms Lund tried again. “Am I right in thinking that you've recently created some new Jägers, Lady Heterodyne?”

“Oh, no,” Agatha replied. “What happened was that a wild pack from Siberia came and joined us. I'd never ask anyone to drink the Jägerdraught. Incidentally, you travel all over the place. Have you ever been to Siberia?”

“Not Siberia as such,” replied Ms Lund, “but I have been to Moscow. So, these Jägers...?”

“Oooh!” said Agatha. “What was it like?”

The rest of the interview went in very much the same way. I found myself rather admiring Ms Lund's patience. She had just started quizzing Zeetha when Tarvek returned.

“You may want to talk to the Storm King here,” said Gil.

Ms Lund bowed. “Hallo, Your Majesty.” She turned to Gil. “He was kind enough to give me an interview before he set out.”

“You're on the ball, Ms Lund,” I remarked.

“Well, you have to be, when you're after the top stories, my lord,” she replied. “It's pretty much like being a spy. But not so dangerous.” She paused. “Usually,” she added, with a grin.

I grinned back. “If you were British, I'd be writing to Whitehall about you.”

“I know you mean that as a compliment,” she said, “and I will take it as such.”

“Don't go flirting with his lordship, Ms Lund,” said Zeetha, winking at her. “He's an old married man.”

“I didn't take it as flirting,” I assured her.

“No, I could tell,” said Zeetha. “If you had, you'd have gone all pink and started stammering. Anyway, Ms Lund, you were asking about Skifander...”

Gil drew me to one side. “That woman's wasted as a journalist,” he said.

I nodded. “Yes. She's extremely sharp. I wasn't entirely joking about Whitehall.”

“I know you weren't. Given your considerable experience, do you suppose anyone's recruited her for their intelligence work already?”

“Well, it's not written all over her forehead,” I replied, “but it's quite possible. She's certainly the sort any secret service worth their salt would want. Even so... there are always plenty of things one doesn't tell journalists, whether or not they are also spies.”

“Quite,” said Gil. “By the way, Ardsley, where the hell's Dimo?”

“Oh, Maxim thinks he's talking to the new recruits,” I replied. “He'll be along in a while, I dare say. Do you have any updates on the dragon's position?”

“Getting very close now,” said Gil, grimly. “In a few minutes we're not going to be needing updates. We'll be able to see the damn thing.”

Higgs overheard that last remark. “If someone could drop me on the dragon's back from the air,” he mused, “I could thump it.”

“What good would that do, Mr Higgs?” asked Ms Lund, taken aback.

Zeetha laughed. “You haven't seen Axel thump anyone, have you?”

“Yeah,” said Violetta. “When he thumps someone, they tend to stay thumped.”

“It's a nice idea,” said Agatha, “but I don't suppose we could get close enough without being flame-grilled first.”

“Hy vant to tump der dragon too!” said Oggie.

“Hyu can't do dot until de sparks find a vay to put der fire out,” replied Maxim.

“Den ve all tump it,” said Oggie brightly.

“This dragon,” said Ms Lund. “Is it intelligent?”

“Not very,” replied Tarvek. “As far as I know, it can understand orders and ask simple questions, but Arroyo seems to have gone in for power at the expense of sophistication. It isn't a patch on one of old Vapnoople's creations, for instance.”

“But it does talk, yes?” she persisted.

“Yes, it talks,” Tarvek replied, “but, really...” He frowned. “Oh, I see what you're driving at. Listen, Ms Lund, it's a construct. It'll be completely bent to the will of its ambitious master.”

“That's right,” Gil confirmed. “So you needn't feel any qualms about it if we have to kill it.”

“Oh, that's not what I meant,” said Ms Lund, earnestly. “I want to interview it.”

We all stared at her. Violetta was the first to break the silence. With her head a little on one side, she asked carefully, “You're not... you're not a _spark_ , are you?”

“Let me get this right,” said Gil. “We have, oh, probably several hundred tons of fire-breathing monster bearing down on us with the avowed intention of reducing Castle Wulfenbach to a few wisps of floating ash, and you want to go out there and _interview it_?”

“Well, don't you think it would be the interview of the century, Herr Baron?” Ms Lund's eyes gleamed behind her glasses.

“Hey,” said Maxim. “Hy like hyu. Hyu iz nuts.”

“I'm not sure it's going to be inclined to respect the neutrality of the Press,” I said.

“That's one way of putting it,” said Zeetha.

“But His Majesty here has those force fields,” Ms Lund reminded us. “If I could borrow a small one, the dragon couldn't hurt me.”

“Well... it _could_ make the air around you rather uncomfortably hot,” said Tarvek.

“I don't mind risking that,” replied Ms Lund. “And it'll soon see that I'm not armed and I'm not trying to hurt it. If it sees that, maybe it'll be willing to talk.”

Gil looked at Tarvek. “Would it work for one person?”

“I don't see why not,” replied Tarvek. “The radius of the field is adjustable. Although, to be honest, I'd still set it on the large side to avoid the roast-in-the-bag effect.”

“Well,” said Gil, “if you're prepared to lend her one of your shield devices, I'll lend her a pair of glide wings.” He turned to Ms Lund. “I say glide wings, but there's a little motor you can use if you need it. You shouldn't, especially if you can use the dragon's own hot air. We keep them in case the Castle needs to be evacuated in a hurry, but there are more than enough to get everyone out who's on board at the moment.”

“Thank you, Herr Baron,” said Ms Lund. “Also, has anyone got a small wireless transmitter I can borrow, just in case anything goes wrong? I'd like the interview to be sent to the paper, even if I'm not around to send it.”

“I have,” said Agatha.

“I'll get someone in to transcribe,” Gil promised.

“We are actually agreeing to this,” said Violetta, shaking her head.

“Well, it won't do any actual harm,” replied Gil, “and, to be honest, I'm fascinated.”

“Hy tink dot iz goink to be vun hell of a surprised dragon,” Maxim observed, with a grin.

“And there was I thinking I'd seen all the weird,” said Violetta.

“Iz alvays more veird, Miz Violetta,” said Oggie. “Iz not der kind of ting dat runs out.” I thought that was really quite philosophical, for Oggie.

Ms Lund was duly equipped with Tarvek's shield device, Gil's glide wings and Agatha's wireless transmitter. Oggie escorted her to one of the outside doors to wait for the dragon's arrival, then came back down to join the rest of us. “Right,” said Gil, once he had returned. “This is excellent. We have a first-class distraction, and if your shield is any good, Tarvek, one who can't take any collateral damage.”

“Absolutely,” replied Tarvek. “And I would not at all put it past her to have planned that herself. She is very intelligent.”

“Has she already seen the shield in operation?” asked Agatha. “She did say you'd given her an interview earlier.”

Tarvek nodded. “Indeed she has.”

Higgs was looking out of the window. “Here comes the dragon,” he observed, in the same conversational tone of voice he might have used to tell us that it was raining. It takes a great deal to ruffle Mr Higgs.

The minion who was doing the transcribing switched on the wireless link. Since it was Agatha's device, she assumed the role of communicator from our end. “How are you doing over there, Ms Lund?” she asked.

“All good so far, Lady Heterodyne. I like these wings.” Ms Lund's voice sounded crackly over the link, but her words were quite audible. “Very controllable.”

The dragon was now no more than a hundred metres away, decelerating rapidly. Within seconds it would be within flaming range. Ms Lund switched to flawless Spanish. “Dragon!” she called. “Dragon! I'm a reporter. I'm here to talk.”

The dragon simply ignored her, shooting past her in the air and sending a massive jet of flame towards Castle Wulfenbach. The whole airship shook, sirens went off in all directions, and the corridors were filled with the sound of running feet.

“I hope you're right that this thing is going to stay in the air,” said Violetta.

“H'mm,” said Higgs. “If that didn't cause an explosion, then we're not going to explode.” He glanced at Gil. “Good refit, Herr Baron.”

“Yes, but I'm going to have a lot of people busy putting out fires,” replied Gil, with a frown. “All right. Back to the war room. I know where to aim now, so we can set about some retaliation.”

“Vhere?” asked Oggie.

“The eyes,” Gil replied. “Everywhere else is armoured solid.” He opened the door and stopped the first person he saw. “Damage report?”

“Fire on the starboard stern, Herr Baron. Nobody seriously hurt.”

“Good. Let's keep it that way,” said Gil. “We're going to show Arroyo and his little pet what we've got.”

“Dimo's still down there,” said Agatha. “He's supposed to be coming back up.” She leaned over the wireless link. “Ms Lund, can you see a little flyer?”

“Not yet. What do I do if I see it?”

“Do everything you can to distract the dragon,” Agatha replied.

“I'll try, but it's not listening to me yet. Hold on.”

Ms Lund flew up a little, and positioned herself directly in front of the dragon as it drew breath for another incendiary blast. “Dragon,” she said, again in Spanish, “my name is Agnete Lund, I'm a reporter from _The Europan_ , and I'd like to hear your views on the war.”

The dragon stared at her, slightly cross-eyed. “My... views?” it repeated.

“Certainly. First of all, could I have your name, please?”

“I... I don't got one. I be just Dragon.”

“Would you like to have one?” asked Ms Lund, pleasantly.

“Where I got one?”

“You could choose one for yourself. But you seem to be having a little trouble with Spanish. Is there another language you would prefer?”

“I don't be good at human talk,” replied the dragon.

“Well, I can edit you a little, so no need to worry,” said Ms Lund. “Obviously I'll get what you're saying across to your readers. Did you want to choose a name?”

“I don't know. What a good name?”

“You can always be thinking about it while we're talking,” said Ms Lund.

“I got to burn up this air boat first,” replied the dragon.

Gil, meanwhile, was issuing various orders, most of which involved either dealing with the damage to the stern of the Castle or shooting at the whites of the dragon's eyes. I gave the orders no more than half an ear. This conversation was becoming really interesting.

“Why?” asked Ms Lund, flapping the glide wings gently.

“Boss says so.”

“And is he a good boss? Does he treat you well?”

The dragon appeared to think very hard about this question for a few moments. Finally, it replied, “He is boss. Is all.”

“Right. And your boss is in charge of a lot of people, yes? Lots of other humans?”

“Lots of humans. Also big clanks. Is very boss.”

“Just like the humans who are on this airship here?” asked Ms Lund, innocently.

“Is humans?” asked the dragon, startled.

“Yes. Lots of humans.”

There was a long pause. Then the dragon suggested, “Maybe boss don't know that.”

“On the contrary. I'm afraid your boss knows that very well.”

“Why boss want to kill humans just like his humans?” asked the dragon.

“Perhaps you ought to ask him,” replied Ms Lund.

The dragon considered. “Maybe better not. Boss don't like questions. Maybe better just do what he say.” It paused. “But is weird. If another dragon was, I would not want to kill.”

“You mean if there was another dragon, you wouldn't want to kill it?” asked Ms Lund. “No, I understand. Very sensible.”

“I be just stupid dragon,” said the dragon. “I don't understand boss. He want to kill other humans, he must got reasons.”

Agatha looked down. “Oh, my!” she exclaimed. “I really hope Ms Lund can keep that dragon talking, because there's Dimo's flyer.”

“He's brave,” observed Tarvek. “I know he's a Jäger, but I doubt that makes a lot of difference if your flyer's being incinerated.”

“Tarvek, for goodness' sake, don't,” said Agatha.

“I got to blow more fire at air boat,” said the dragon. “You better move.”

“You don't need to do that just yet,” replied Ms Lund. “We can finish the interview first. There's plenty of time...”

Twin barrages of fire suddenly streamed out from Castle Wulfenbach. Gil, well aware that hitting only one eye would be likely to make things worse rather than better, had gone for both of them simultaneously. The dragon roared and writhed in pain as the rays hit their marks.

“You play bad trick!” it screamed.

“Not me,” said Ms Lund. “I'm really sorry. The people on the airship are defending themselves, and that's only to be expected; but I had nothing to do with it.”

“Head hurts,” the dragon moaned. “Is all dark. I don't see.”

“Follow my voice,” Ms Lund instructed. “I'll guide you down. You're not safe in the air now.”

“I can't see Dimo's flyer,” said Agatha, anxiously.

I leaned over. “I can. He's flying erratically, but he's still climbing. Looks as if the flyer may have taken some damage.”

“Dragon's wing caught it,” said Higgs. “Knows what he's doing, though, does Dimo.”

“Come on,” said Ms Lund gently. “It's all right. I'll land you safely. It wasn't your choice to attack Castle Wulfenbach. I'm not going to do you any more harm.”

“Oh, look,” said Tarvek. “Here come the ground troops. They're going to get a surprise.”

“If I were her, I'd land the dragon right on top of them,” said Gil.

“She won't do that,” I replied. “It's trusting her to get it down safely. It's got no choice but to do that. She won't abuse that trust to kill its friends.”

Gil raised an eyebrow. “A lot of them are going to end up dead anyway, Ardsley.”

“Yes. But not that way.”

I was right. She brought the dragon down immediately below Castle Wulfenbach, well ahead of the vanguard of the approaching ground forces. Our own combined ground troops were still awaiting the signal; once the dragon was safely on the ground, Gil gave it. They had been stationed temporarily inside one of Tarvek's shields, which was now switched off. Clanks, Jägers and human troops took up their battle stations.

Dimo's crippled flyer slewed awkwardly into the safety of one of the Castle's docks, clattering a wing against the side of the entrance as it did so and landing with a thud. The dock was not far from us, and we all felt the impact. A few minutes later, Dimo came hurrying back into the lounge to join us.

“Sorry about dot,” he said. “Der dragon's ving hit der flyer. Iz not in a goot vay.”

“Never mind about the flyer,” Agatha replied. “It's just good to see you in one piece.”

“Who iz de crezzy lady vit de glider vings out dere tokkink to der dragon?” he asked.

“That's Agnete Lund, the journalist,” replied Agatha. She put her hand over the transmitter for a moment. “And keep your voice down, Dimo. We've got a wireless link.”

“Hy iz surprised it dun fry her,” said Dimo.

“She's got one of my shields,” Tarvek explained.

“Ja, but hyu vould tink it vould schtill try,” said Dimo.

The wireless link popped into life again. “There you go,” said Ms Lund's voice. “I'm sorry there's no more I can do for you, but at least you're safe there. And your boss and your friends are coming.”

“Boss don't going to be pleased,” said the dragon.

“Well, it's not as if he can blame you,” replied Ms Lund, reasonably. “You did what he asked. Now, did you ever decide on a name? I mean, you're going to be in an international newspaper, so if you're going to choose a name, this is a really good time to do it.”

The dragon considered. “What you called again?”

“Agnete. But that's a girl's name...”

“Why you think I don't be a girl?”

“Oh,” said Ms Lund. “Ah. I'm very sorry. It's your voice. It's, you know, a little deep.”

“Dragons don't be like humans,” replied the dragon. “What be Agnete in Spanish?”

“Agnes, I think. Although it may have an accent.”

“Good. Then I be Agnes.”

“Well... er... I'm very honoured, Agnes,” said Ms Lund.

“You stay with me? You help me talk to boss?” asked Agnes.

“Certainly I will,” replied Ms Lund.

Agatha looked at Tarvek. “Oh, my. Now we're really going to see how well your shield works.”

“Quite apart from the shield,” I said, “the way Ms Lund works is sheer poetry. I am really starting to regret that I am unlikely to live long enough to encounter her in the capacity of a Danish Ambassador, because if her government has any sense at all she will eventually become one.”

“Indeed,” said Tarvek. “Her negotiation skills are quite something.”

“Do we think Arroyo is actually out there leading his forces, by the way?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” replied Gil, “but I'm sure we'll soon find out.”

“I feel a little sorry for the dragon,” said Agatha.

“You're not the only one,” I replied, “but there really wasn't a lot else we could have done. Not even Ms Lund could talk it... her... out of attacking, though she made a valiant attempt.”

“Ja, she iz very goot at tokkink,” said Dimo. “But hy hope she iz not too goot, oddervise ve von't haff a var.”

“Oh, I think we'll still have a war,” I replied. “The dragon's not really malicious, and she's also not very intelligent. Arroyo is both malicious and intelligent. It will take more than talking to stop him.”

“Goot,” said Dimo, “because de Jägers iz all up for a goot fight. Especially de new vuns.”

“Hy bet,” said Maxim.

“Ja,” said Oggie. “Must be terrible beink stuck in der middle of Siberia vit no-vun to fight but vun anodder.”

Battle was now raging on the ground. The Jäger regiment was between the dragon and the enemy troops, and nobody was getting past them. “What happen?” we heard the dragon ask.

“There's a lot of fighting,” Ms Lund replied. “Your boss' humans are fighting the humans who live here. And there are also clanks fighting on both sides, and this side has Jägers.”

“What be Jägers?”

“They're a bit like humans,” Ms Lund explained. “But they're much stronger and tougher, and they live a lot longer. My father was one. Well, I suppose he still is one, wherever he is.”

The three Jägers looked at one another in surprise. “Vonder if iz anyvun ve know?” said Dimo.

“Well, that explains a lot,” said Gil. “Flying out to conduct an interview with a hostile dragon is a pretty Jägerish thing to do.”

“Iz not!” said Oggie, indignantly. “Ve dun interview dragons. Ve tump dem.”

“Oh, you know what I mean, Oggie,” said Gil. “Same attitude, just applied to journalism rather than war.”

“Well, yes, except she's not actually a Jäger,” Agatha pointed out. “The children of Jägers turn out human. The effects of the Jägerdraught aren't heritable.”

“No,” Gil agreed, “but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the general outlook was. H'mm. What are those clanks doing down there?”

“You mean apart from fighting?” asked Tarvek.

“Obviously,” said Gil. “I don't like this. Arroyo's got some surprisingly good battle clanks. I think I'm going to have to go down there myself.”

“Not on your own, you're not,” said Agatha. “If you're going to wade into that, I'm coming with you.”

It was chaos on the ground. Clanks, Jägers and humans were all tearing into one another, and Gil's subsidiary airships were keeping a steady bombardment going on the enemy troops. Dimo looked down at it all, and grinned.

“Dot means ve get to fight too,” he said. “Hy tot hyu vos neffer goink to let us.”

“You want to take over the wireless link, Ardsley?” asked Agatha.

“Very well,” I replied. Part of me wanted to volunteer to go and join the battle with the others, but I knew I would be of very little, if any, use. I am still a reasonable hand-to-hand fighter, especially for someone of my age, but I have neither the strength and endurance of a Jäger, the skills of a spark, nor the specialised training of someone like Violetta or Zeetha. On a battlefield I would almost certainly end up becoming a liability to my friends. It was a pity. Still, I consoled myself with the fact that there would now be British troops on the way.

“Sturmvoraus,” said Gil, “you're in temporary command up here.” He did not add “Ardsley, keep an eye on him,” but I knew Gil quite well enough to understand it.

Tarvek nodded. “All right.”

Gil and Agatha both had formidable mechanised battle suits, and very soon I saw them step out of a medium-sized flyer wearing them. The others, of course, had no such protection, but then they were in far less need of it. They moved forwards as a unit, the sparks' high-tech weaponry augmented effectively by Zeetha's twin swords, Violetta's dagger, Maxim's sword, Oggie's huge triple halberd, and the fists of Dimo and Higgs.

“Wish I knew if Arroyo was down there himself,” said Tarvek.

“I hope so,” I said. I leaned towards the wireless transmitter. “Ms Lund, are you still all right down there? This is Lord Heversham. I've taken over the link because Agatha is now down on the battlefield.”

“Fine, my lord, but I think the dragon's in a bad way,” replied the journalist. “I'm not blaming the Baron for attacking – he had to – but... well, it's a pity the dragon was put in that position in the first place.”

“Yes,” I replied. “When you say she's in a bad way, how bad do you mean?”

“I think she's dying, my lord. There'll have been damage to her brain, not just her eyes.”

“I'm so sorry,” I said.

“She wants me to stay with her. I will.”

“It's all you can do,” I replied.

“Oh, don't get sentimental, Ardsley,” said Tarvek. “It was a dragon. It was trying to kill us.”

“Yes, she was,” I replied, very slightly emphasising the pronoun. “That doesn't mean she's not entitled to ordinary compassion. It wasn't her idea to kill us, after all. You heard the transmission. She didn't even realise there were humans on board.”

“Sure, but when she discovered there were, she still went ahead and flamed us,” said Tarvek.

“And are we really so much better?” I asked. “That dragon was forced into a position where she had to try to kill people because of one man's ambition. And now, so are we. The only difference is the method.”

Tarvek flicked an eyebrow at me. “Since when have you been a pacifist?”

“I'm not a pacifist, at least not in the regular sense,” I replied. “I admit that sometimes, one has no choice but to fight. This is one of those occasions, without doubt. But I resent being left with no other choice, and the older I get, the more it stings. The fact that I'm not actually a pacifist doesn't mean I don't have a visceral hatred for war in all its forms.”

“I'm surprised,” said Tarvek. “All the civilians are safe. I know you've always cared a lot about the ordinary people. It's something I respect you for.”

“Well, that's good of you to say, Tarvek,” I said, “and don't mistake me; I'm extremely glad they're all safe, and I'm very grateful to you for providing the technology. But, while war is devastating in a very obvious way to those who don't ask to be involved in it, it's much more subtly damaging to those who have to wage it. It twists people's minds.”

“And yet you're great friends with the Jägers,” Tarvek pointed out.

“The Jägers are different,” I said. “Fighting is what they were designed for, and they do it very efficiently; but... well, I suppose they just don't think about it a lot. And, anyway, they fight among themselves all the time, and there's no malice in it whatsoever. It's just a sport to them.”

“It's not a sport to that man there,” said Tarvek, pointing. I followed the line of his index finger; Maxim had just run someone through with his sword.

“No,” I replied, sombrely. “It's not. And yet it won't touch Maxim. He's killed before when he's had to, and I dare say he'll do it again. It doesn't bother him; but, nonetheless, it hasn't made him callous. It's as I say. Jägers are different. I don't entirely understand it. All I know is that if I'd just done that, I'd be shaken up. Not in the moment, but certainly later.”

“You have killed, haven't you?” asked Tarvek, curiously.

“Yes. As a spy, I sometimes had to. The biggest mistake I made in my entire career was thinking I could talk myself out of anything without having to kill anyone. Ironic, really, because I had very little self-confidence in any other respect when I started out. I didn't think I was tough enough to do a really good job. I did think I was bright enough. But then, when I had to kill for the first time, that took an enormous knock. I reasoned that if I were really intelligent enough, I'd have been able to think of a better way out.”

“I never thought of you as lacking confidence,” said Tarvek.

“I could hide it pretty well,” I replied. “And, of course, I am reasonably confident these days. It improves with age.”

“That I'll grant you,” said Tarvek. “H'mm. Looks like the battle is going pretty well down there.”

I sighed. “If we were a truly intelligent species,” I said, “we'd be able to think of a better way out. I'm pretty sure my original reasoning was correct, even though I am, as humans go, fairly bright.”

“Very bright, I'd say,” replied Tarvek.

“Thank you; but we need to get brighter,” I replied. “If my level of intelligence is considered sub-normal by future generations, I shall be quite happy.”

Ms Lund's voice came over the link. “I'm afraid we've lost the dragon,” she said.

“I'm sorry,” I replied. “May she rest in peace. You'd better come back up.”

“On my way, my lord.”

Tarvek was right. Arroyo's forces were being slowly but surely pushed back. I watched as Gil and Agatha between them demolished a massive battle clank. Zeetha's swords flashed in the early spring sunlight, and Violetta was hardly more than a purple blur. A cavalryman tried to ride Zeetha down, only to have his horse punched out from under him by one blow from Higgs' powerful fist. Infantry troops were keeping very well clear of Oggie's swinging halberd, trying to shoot him down from a safe distance. They were not succeeding. A Jäger may be hurt by a bullet, but he is unlikely to be stopped.

It took a few hours after that for the enemy forces to be pushed back far enough for the battle to be considered over, but eventually Gil, Agatha and the others returned wearily to Castle Wulfenbach. The two sparks were uninjured, though both very sweaty and dishevelled. Zeetha had a cut across her forehead, for which Violetta had improvised a bandage; Higgs had the beginnings of a black eye, apparently due to an accidental collision with a Jäger's elbow; and all three of the Jägers had minor wounds. They looked perfectly cheerful, though. Jägers generally do when they have had a good scrap.

“Dinner,” said Gil, “had better be damn good after all that.”

“I suspect we'll have it all to do again tomorrow, too,” said Violetta. “They'll be back. They're just regrouping.”

“Yes,” said Agatha, “but they've taken far heavier losses than we have, including the dragon, of course. And by tomorrow we should have the British troops, too.”

Zeetha looked at Ms Lund. “Well,” she said, “you're certainly going to have something to put in your paper.”

“Yes,” replied Ms Lund. “I've written a full account of the battle, as well as the interview with that poor dragon.”

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” asked Gil. “You were very helpful back there.”

“Thank you, Herr Baron,” she replied. “I would. And... I did want to help you, but it's still a pity about the dragon. She wanted to be called Agnes. After me.”

“I know,” said Gil. “I heard. I'm sorry. But... well. War.”

“Yes. War,” Ms Lund agreed, heavily.

“Hey,” said Maxim. “Hyu said hyu dad vos a Jäger.”

“That's right, Maxim,” said Ms Lund.

“Hyu know vot his name vos?” asked Maxim. “Ve might know heem.”

“Yes,” replied Ms Lund promptly. “It was Dimo.”

Dimo gaped. “Vot?!”

“Hey,” said Oggie. “Hyu got descendants after all!”

“Wait,” said Ms Lund. “You're Dimo?”

Agatha grinned. “So, about that holiday in Denmark...?”

“Hy iz a daddy?!” said Dimo, blinking.

“Hy didn't know hyu had a holiday romance,” said Maxim.

“Vell,” said Dimo, looking more embarrassed than I have ever seen him look. “Hy din vant to say anytink vhen all her friends tot hy vos ugly.”

“Awwww!” exclaimed Ms Lund, and threw her arms round him. “I don't think you're ugly. How rotten of Mum's friends!”

“Hyu could haff told us, Dimo,” said Oggie.

“Not vhen hyu vos seeink her best friend und Maxim vos seeink _her_ best friend,” replied Dimo. “It vould haff got round. Und hy din vant her to be teased about me.”

“Hey,” said Maxim. “Iz Oggie und me daddies too?”

“Hy iz a great-great-lots-of-great granddaddy,” said Oggie proudly.

“Ja, ve know,” said Maxim, “but hy meant in Denmark.”

“I don't think so,” replied Ms Lund. “Mum's very well, by the way. If you'd like to give me your address...?”

“Castle Heterodyne, Mechanicsburg,” replied Dimo. “Hy vould be very heppy to hear from her.”

“Good grief,” said Tarvek.

“I don't know why you're so surprised,” said Violetta. “So she's Dimo's daughter. There's nothing so very odd about that, especially not when you consider our family. I mean, our family's just _weird_.”

“It's only a little bit homicidal these days,” replied Tarvek.

“Well, yes, it has been a lot less so since Cousin Martellus disappeared. But, even so, we're still pretty odd compared to a Jäger with a human daughter.”

“She not yust a human daughter,” replied Dimo, beaming. “She iz a human daughter vot toks to dragons. Hy know she iz not a Jäger, but she iz a chip off der old block.”

“You said she was crazy earlier,” said Tarvek, who had apparently mislaid his usual sense of tact.

“Ja. She is crezzy like a Jäger,” replied Dimo, totally unabashed. “Iz der goot kind of crezzy.”

Zeetha laughed. “Are you going to put all this in your report, Ms Lund?” she asked.

“Oh, no,” replied Ms Lund. “This is just my news.”

“But better news than the war,” I suggested.

She gave me her warmest smile. “Yes, my lord.” And, as she turned the smile on Dimo, she added, “Very good news indeed.”


End file.
